Friday, January 30

could you go back?

I'm facing a change in the coming months. I usually look forward to new adventures. But this change is not taking me somewhere new. It's taking me back.

There are a lot of great reasons to move back, after all we didn't leave because we were unhappy there. We left because we wanted to experience life here.

So, I'd like to get your opinion. Hear you experiences. Link me up blogger friends. Now that you've lived abroad, could you ever go back? Have you? Never will?

Cause I'm starting to get some crazy ideas. Ideas like, "why not Spain? or how about India? or maybe even just Rome? We're already here. The bandage has already been yanked off. Now that we're out, where else could we go?"

Like a kid skipping school.

edited to add:
It's become clear that you might need a little more information to actually weigh in on this. I'm the kind of person who could be happy anywhere. Maybe I'll give you the bigger picture soon. That said, don't tell me what you think I should do, tell me what you would do.


  1. Anonymous8:21 PM

    If back for you means the States, I don't know if I'd return...our way of life here is too crazy.

    Why are you feeling restless and what is prompting the need for change? Will you be happy anywhere you go or are the changes happening inside you?

    Good morning to you, but good night for me!


  2. If you ask me about going back, I would have to ask you, "How far?"
    I have never lived abroad, but I have lived in 3 different states, and it seems to me like 3 different life times. Each was totally different from the others.
    You have given me food for thought.

  3. By "back" I mean all the way back... same job even (an awesome one). SF Bay area back. Not the same house though. There is no way in H E double hockey sticks that I am going back to that commute (I realize that a walking/biking commute may be difficult to arrange in the bay area).

    I'm worried about culture shock? Can I handle living in the US again? Or will I be even more fed up with its bs than before?

  4. For some reason when I am given two choices, I want to answer "both."

  5. I would. But my situation is peculiar. I was an expat in the US and when I finally americanized myself I went off and became an expat again.

    For me and my husband this has always been a temporary situation. We didn't know how long we would stay but figured we would be going back.

    So I guess it's the opposite of you. Italy to Christine is US to Bella.

    Home is wherever you make it. If you and your family have become Italians and feel comfortable as such then why leave?

  6. Sometimes the place you left is never the place you return too... And if you desire a difference then so shall it be - regardless of where you find yourself.

  7. Excellent point. At the very least, I am different, so my experience will be different. For instance, having daily, quality time, outside of work is now a huge priority for me.

    Bella... we also moved here only because we knew it wouldn't sink our careers and that we would have the option to go back if it came to that. So it's always been somewhat of a temporary thing.

    Too much fuss for something too far in the future! The adventure is now.

  8. I really can't weigh in on this, since I've never lived abroad. But we're seriously thinking about it now...we may have an opportunity to go to Peru.

    Thanks for following my blog!

  9. I've gone back repeatedly for several months, even a year, and never adjusted. But recently I went back to SF, and I think I could go back there. Its not the US, its another world and I could definately live in the city. My husband is from South City and we are considering it. I currently live in Paraguay, but I have lived more years outside of the US than inside,even though I was born there.

  10. go back to india,there you can find more adventures..

  11. Personally, I would give my left nut to be able to live abroad. We are saving up, though, so it may still happen. Our planned trip to Barcelona is actually to scout things out.

  12. I'm a bit torn about this... and I think I've figured out why. Like derfina, my whole life, I've longed to live abroad. I mean aching longed for it. And I love it. And I guess I don't really want it to be done.

    That said, we are planning to retire abroad, but that is just to freaking far away (esp. if I keep not working ;))!

  13. Anonymous7:08 PM

    We always think about life back in India; the social life, the culture, the food, the chaos that we miss...But going back is still a scary thought only because we've become too protective, unadventurous rather...

  14. I cant quite know your situation of different countries ! But i have moved states. Moving up from the deep south ! I have been a small towner in big cities. Constantly soaking up all experiences. Step by step ! And i dont think i would go back, except for renewal and renergising. Every trip back home puts more into the soul and i lumber on. Soaking up some more.

    Having said that, am i going to stay moored here, i dont think so too. Not that this place is any bad. This is a wonderful place. But i guess the world is such a larger place. And there are thousands of people to get to know, food to taste, friendships to make, cultures to soak....and one life to do all these...!

    Thats where i am...!

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  16. here it is again. i have lived outside the u.s. for eight years and in three different countries. i have learned and loved different things from each. it has been an amazing experience and one i feel privileged to able to partake of. some people love this and others never seem to stop missing what they left behind. it is nice though to feel rooted somewhere,but i say carpe diem, grab these experiences while you can because who knows what tomorrow will bring. the experiences for your children, your family even will be immeasurable. it is nice that you have the choice.

  17. partly I think life is all about pulling the rug out from under yourself and starting over. having said that, geeez! you want to come back to the car culture? eww. one thing I loved about living abroad was that to feel like you've accomplished something all you have to do is step out the door, get on the right bus, remember the word for that funny-shaped pastry. I loved the challenge of every day living.

    I did all that when I was pre-kid and pre-marriage and now I am feeling like I need it again - though I am worrying myself into inertia. I admire that you are there.

    On a final selfish note, I just found your blog -- don't leave me! I have been enjoying your writing and I am so interested to read about a US mom in Italy. We have a bit in common, like homebirth, and Italy...if I get there.

  18. Haha, Kitty, thanks. I have at least a few more months before any major move. Not to worry. Although maybe I should... how interesting would a pilgram in San Francisco be?

  19. Tough question. Mr. Wild and I just agonized over moving to another state in the midwest only just 4 years ago. I lived in England for 9 months when I was young and (nearly) carefree. I miss England terribly. I would love to take the chance to move there, if for 1-3 years only. But then I panic, because we'd be taking our children away from their grandparents. Grandparents might be more sad than parents or grandkids, but still. And yet, I love the midwest. We've contemplated moving to the East or West coast areas. I don't know that I could or would want to do that. I love the midwest and want my kids raised in midwestern communities. A blog topic I've been rolling around in my head, but haven't quite gotten around to it. What makes the midwest the midwest?

    Lucky for us, our midwestern community has people from all over the states and the world in it, and, lucky us, we got to be friends with them. So while we search for cosmopolitan experiences in and around our quaint small town, we relish the community that we live in without the cosmopolitan variety.


...and you may ask yourself, did I get here?