Friday, April 24

walked like she had a bell for an ass

For someone who has absolutely no ass, this little liner makes me want to shake my thang. Do whacha wanna do...

I'm an ass girl. As in the female version of ass man. As in, when I am noticing someone, my eyes tend to get snagged on the junk in his trunk. If you think I'm just playin', you obviously haven't seen my husband (if you wonder how a tall gangly midwestern girl like me got hitched up to a hot sexy Italian, I'll tell you, it was the gravitational pull of his ass).

I, on the other hand, missed the ass train entirely. Not even at the station when that one blew through town.

But I read something recently that made me think that perhaps my lack of ass has more to do with posture and a nice wiggle in my walk then the absence of nice round glutes. Maybe I just have to believe I have an ass. Maybe I simply need to "walk like she had a bell for an ass" - Junot Diaz, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.

6 comments:

  1. Would you recommend Diaz's book?

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  2. I think we should ALL walk that way!

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  3. Hahaha! You got company girl:) I just can't believe u wrote this though!

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  4. Jeanne... I'm only a few chapters into Diaz's book, but so far it's been a riot.

    Brenda... absolutely

    Naperville Mom... haha! Sorry if I shocked you. I sometimes just need to break out, forget I have family reading, and let my inner tiger speak. I tried to blame it on Diaz.

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  5. I have to tell you this, from one who didn't miss the bus, my dad used to say my mom walked like she had two teddy bears boxing. I have no clue what that would look like, except my mom's butt! This is still what I think when I see a woman with a big one: two teddy bears boxing!

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  6. Karen... you have me rolling on the floor with that image. Too funny.

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...and you may ask yourself, well...how did I get here?