I stumbled upon a blog this week that really spoke to me. It's called Scary Mamma and is written by Jill. From her site:
What is a Scary Mommy, you ask? I believe a Scary Mommy is a mother who doesn’t leave the house wearing lipstick at all times. A Scary Mommy loves her kids to death, but will admit to feeling totally overwhelmed and exhausted by the gig. A Scary Mommy doesn’t really care what other people think, and a Scary Mommy thinks that all mothers win when we admit our weaknesses.
In other words, a mamma who is scary in the minds of all the perfect mothers. The good mothers who never make mistakes, who's children dress with coordinating socks and they eat precisely the food recommended by the FDA. They get all their shots and meet all their milestones, follow their schedules and sleep through the night.
So, to help the blissly ignorant children understand what all the hairy-eyeball looks are all about, I present:
You know you might have a scary mamma if...
you are dressed in clothes that pass "the smell test" about once a week.
she has no qualms about the three second rule, unless you're in the city.
you know plenty of curse words, but know darn well not to use them.
you nursed until the age of 4 and then got a bike in exchange for giving up the habit.
you know how to swim but you've never had lessons.
if there is a fruit or vegetable you like, you're welcome to eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
you have no idea what a crib is.
you've caught tadpoles and had pet crickets.
you know burnt food contains carcinogens and you should just scrape the black stuff off with your knife.
one in every 8 meals is SOOOOO GOOOD!
you know better than to say anything about the other 7.
once when you couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, mom and dad took you out for doughnuts.
you are 4 years old and your favorite music artists are The Clash and Cat Stevens.
when you ask her for a pet dog she replies "like I need something else to clean up after."
you have a working knowledge of sarcasm that your teachers find delightful.
there is dried finger paint on your dining room table.
you share a bedroom with a sibling of the opposite sex.
she dressed you in the same Halloween costume 2 years in a row and then used it for your little sister for another two years.
you've eaten pancakes for dinner.
you know you're responsible for the freakish shape of her belly button.
you had to wear your brother's t-shirt at the water park (to cover up your 6 year old breasts) because the people that work there are stupid.
there's a box by your front door full of rocks, leaves and chestnuts.
she's living proof that if you're having a bad day, you try not to take it out on your family and if you accidentally do, it's important to say you're sorry.
also that it's important to forgive each other, no matter what.
I love my punks.
Thanks for inspiring this post Scary Mamma... that was fun.