RTT: just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.

I need to work on my "I don't understand a word you're saying" look. Yes, I'm trying to hammer this language into my bowling ball head and Yes, I get the general gist of things and Yes, you are SO SWEET to make the effort to communicate with me BUT could you please slow it down just a tad... the trying expression on my face does NOT mean I've got gas.

I miss my dryer. I KNOW I harp on about how great and environmentally righteous we are to not have a clothes dryer, but when it's friggggggin cold and you haven't figured out how to turn the heat on yet and punkette insists on continuing to sleep in just her underwear and although you clearly explain that it is her own fault that she's a human popsicle in the morning... you've run out of blankets to pile on her bed during the night and you are grinding down your teeth as you smile and warm up her clothes with the hair dryer in the morning... a clothes dryer would be nice. 1. For the fresh out of the dryer warmness and 2. the plumpy softness as opposed to the cardboard stiffness that is causing Punkette to boycott clothes in the first place.



Cabbage is my new favorite food. Since the days of school evacuation due to the stink of a nearby cabbage field, this is a dramatic swing of opinion. In the past three weekends I have made three different cabbage based dishes that have all gotten rave reviews from the family. Yea. I'm glad I gave cabbage another chance.

Pass the Pigs. For once I am not talking about bacon. It's a game that the punks got from Grandma and Grandpa and it's just oodles of fun. It's like dice, but instead the die are pigs. Here's how you score: You toss two pigs and you get points based on how they land. You can roll as many times as you like, accumulating points, but risking to loose them all if you get Pig Out (pigs lying down on opposite sides).

For example:

trotter: 5 points

double trotter: 20 points

razorback: 5 points

double razorback: 20 points

snouter: 10 points
leaning jowler (snout + ear touching table): 15 points

total: 25 points

Then there's combos:

snouter: 10 points + razorback: 5 = 15

leaning jowler: 15 ... no points added for only one sider

this is the oinker and clearly impossible, you cheater... back to zero

I think you should get triple points for this one, but it is also, in fact, an oinker: back to zero you pig!

Look what you made me do.

alien

I pull on my jeans and a hoodie over my night shirt. My running shoes and my wool peacoat. There is an automatic easiness about this "look" that I've achieved in 1.35 minutes. Ironically, it's the same look that I see in every shop window.

And it's in these comfort clothes that I scurry the punks out the 17th century doors. They zip down the street on their bikes, closing that two block gap between now and "puntuale." Past the black heels that stop their clicking to look.

Some days I can fold myself in. Capture the notes and blend with the harmony of this city.
Make no disruption and pretend not to notice the crucifix, the thinness, the perfect urban precision with which it hums. Pretending to be comfortable and drowning myself in the beauty of a new culture.

But on days like today my 15 year old jeans and a thick grey sweatshirt will do just fine.
On days like today I feel no need and make no excuse.
For being distinctly alien.

You know you might have a scary mamma if...

I stumbled upon a blog this week that really spoke to me. It's called Scary Mamma and is written by Jill. From her site:

What is a Scary Mommy, you ask? I believe a Scary Mommy is a mother who doesn’t leave the house wearing lipstick at all times. A Scary Mommy loves her kids to death, but will admit to feeling totally overwhelmed and exhausted by the gig. A Scary Mommy doesn’t really care what other people think, and a Scary Mommy thinks that all mothers win when we admit our weaknesses.

In other words, a mamma who is scary in the minds of all the perfect mothers. The good mothers who never make mistakes, who's children dress with coordinating socks and they eat precisely the food recommended by the FDA. They get all their shots and meet all their milestones, follow their schedules and sleep through the night.

So, to help the blissly ignorant children understand what all the hairy-eyeball looks are all about, I present:


You know you might have a scary mamma if...

you are dressed in clothes that pass "the smell test" about once a week.

she has no qualms about the three second rule, unless you're in the city.

you know plenty of curse words, but know darn well not to use them.

you nursed until the age of 4 and then got a bike in exchange for giving up the habit.

you know how to swim but you've never had lessons.

if there is a fruit or vegetable you like, you're welcome to eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

you have no idea what a crib is.

you've caught tadpoles and had pet crickets.

you know burnt food contains carcinogens and you should just scrape the black stuff off with your knife.

one in every 8 meals is SOOOOO GOOOD!

you know better than to say anything about the other 7.

once when you couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, mom and dad took you out for doughnuts.

you are 4 years old and your favorite music artists are The Clash and Cat Stevens.

when you ask her for a pet dog she replies "like I need something else to clean up after."

you have a working knowledge of sarcasm that your teachers find delightful.

there is dried finger paint on your dining room table.

you share a bedroom with a sibling of the opposite sex.

she dressed you in the same Halloween costume 2 years in a row and then used it for your little sister for another two years.

you've eaten pancakes for dinner.

you know you're responsible for the freakish shape of her belly button.

you had to wear your brother's t-shirt at the water park (to cover up your 6 year old breasts) because the people that work there are stupid.

there's a box by your front door full of rocks, leaves and chestnuts.

she's living proof that if you're having a bad day, you try not to take it out on your family and if you accidentally do, it's important to say you're sorry.

also that it's important to forgive each other, no matter what.


___________________

I love my punks.

Thanks for inspiring this post Scary Mamma... that was fun.