Wednesday, May 15

three things

This is the general structure of a triglyceride. Yea, we're chemists here and we like this freaky stuff. Scary looking bugger. All grabby with those long arms and itchy little double bond Os. (Now I KNOW you're starting to doubt that I'm a chemist).

Well, if you're up on your tryglycerides, then you know that

The National Cholesterol Education Program guidelines for triglycerides are:
Normal Less than 150 mg/dL
Borderline-high 150 to 199 mg/dL
High 200 to 499 mg/dL
Very high 500 mg/dL or higher

These are based on fasting plasma triglyceride levels.

Of course.

My point? you ask...

Yeah... well, getting to that.

Here's the First Thing. My hubby just found out that his level is 1200.

NormalLess than 150 mg/dL
Borderline-high150 to 199 mg/dL
High200 to 499 mg/dL
Very high500 mg/dL or higher

Look back at that handy dandy table... normal levels, 150... huh?

No. I didn't mis-type that. It's TWELVE HUNDRED!

He's a freak of nature. Or a walking heart attack. We've got to take better care of hubby. No more Marlboro Man Sandwiches. I guess you have to actually be a cowboy to eat those regularly.

Second Thing...

Nice bike. If you see it around this very north of northern Italian towns, beat the person riding it with your Italian Vogue. Jerk stole it from said hubby from inside our building.

Poor hubby. What is the world coming to!!! Now he can't even continue biking those 10 miles a day to keep his triglycerides in check.

Third Thing.

We get a call from our internet provider that our usage is exceptionally high this month. Well, we've been using it for a year and a half... nothing's new. So, what the...?

Turns out they have not billed us (in a year and a half) and we actually have a plan where we need to pay 2 euros/hour during the week. Weekends are free. That's why they've named it the FREE plan.

telephone guy: you've got the "Free" plan, right?
hubby: yea, that sounds right.
telephone guy: ok, well, that's 2 euros/hour.

Wait. What the ...?

So, later, hubby, distressed says... "oh, what's next... I'm dying, my bikes been stolen, we owe thousands of euros to the internet slime balls... what else is going to happen?!?!"

And this is where, I assuredly tell him, with my all american good sense,

That's three things. Nothing else bad is going to happen. These things come in threes, of course, as all we optimistic gomer smiling, good americans all know. You're done. Kaput. That's it. Finito! Not so bad, right?

Could be worse...
Could be raining...

1 comment:

...and you may ask yourself, did I get here?