Highlights from our trip back to the good ole' Midwest USA...
Stepping off the plane in Chicago:
Punkone: I need a corndog!
SP: Wow. Really?
Punkone: I need a corndog now.
Went to a waterpark. Management stopped me as I was leaving the wave pool with Punkette.
Mgmt: Ma'am... is that your daughter?
Mgmt: Ma'am... she's gonna have to put a top on.
Mgmt: Ma'am... if you don't put a top on her, we're going to have to ask you to leave.
SP: ??? She's five. ???
Mgmt: She has to put a top on Ma'am.
Punkette: Mom, why do I have to wear this T-shirt?!?!
SP: Because people here are stupid.
Gathered around the campfire:
Punkone: Tell me a scary story
Grandpa: (in a spooky voice) Once upon a time,
Punkone: GRANDPA!!! Stop! You're giving me nightmares! Ok, tell me a scary story, but don't use that voice.
Grandpa: (whispering) there were two children that visited Lake Blackstone.
Punkone: GRANDPA!!! Don't whisper! And this isn't Lake Blackstone.
Grandpa: I know, it's just a story.
Punkone: Ok, tell me a story.
Grandpa: (touching Punkone's back) One cloudy night,
Punkone: GRANDPA!!! No TOUCHING! Tell me a story, but no whispering and no touching.
Grandpa: they were gathered around the campfire...